November 02, 2004
POLLS FROM THE PARANORMAL
By FARRAH WEINSTEIN
BUSH is ahead by a nose. Kerry's up by a hair. Who can wait until tonight (or next month) to find out who our next president will be? That's why we went to the other side - the one with crystal balls and Ouija boards - to get an answer, pronto.
At Cafe Pick Me Up in the East Village, a psychic and tarot card reader named Fahrusha peered into the (photographed) eyes of President Bush and Sen. Kerry to "photo sense" the answer.
At least, that's what they call it when you stare at a picture for a long time.
"I do see Kerry winning the popular vote," she said. "And I do see the situation being contested, perhaps because of the Electoral College, perhaps because of voter irregularities ..."
Her tarot cards agreed. "It looks like John Kerry is in a struggle, but he's winning it," she determined.
A final test - this one with a weighted string that she passed over a picture of each candidate - confirmed her tarot and psychic predictions: Kerry.
Wondering if Fahrusha might be a tad biased, we went online to www.magiccoffeemug.com and asked if Bush would win the election.
"If you have to ask that question, then you know the answer is no," it said. So we asked again: "Let me confirm your suspicions. The answer is yes." And again: "Of course not, I doubt you really understand what you are asking."
We'll give Kerry the mug vote.
Next we turned to an "energy artist" named Linda Lauren, who claims to "intuitively zone in" on a person's energy by the touch of a hand, a look into the eyes, or the sound of a person's voice.
Having none of the above, she determined tonight's outcome through deep meditation.
After a half-hour with Kerry and Bush's names and pictures in front of her, she lit a candle, sat back, closed her eyes and saw a Kerry victory - based on his "stronger energy." Unless, of course, there's no challenge to the election.
Kerry came up tops with the Magic 8 Ball. Asked, by 10 people, "Is Bush going to win?" the outcome was six no, four yes.
Befuddled by the Kerry groundswell, I performed my own test with a "glow-in-the-dark" Ouija board. Again, I asked: Will Bush win the presidential election?
After 20 minutes of sitting in a room illuminated only by candlelight and my eyes closed, my fingers "twitched" the planchette toward the NO side.
Nevertheless, a Bush win is in the stars - at least according to Ophira Edut.
"George Bush is a Cancer and he has Saturn on his side right now, which is the planet of discipline and obstacles. People will either take him really, really seriously or not seriously enough at all ... He is seen more as a father figure and as a safer choice.
"Right now, the United States is a Cancer-ruled country," she concluded. "It does appear George Bush is favored."
Celebrity numerologist Glynis McCants agreed. Based on their birth dates, Bush and Vice President Cheney are in a winning cycle.
Or, as she put it: "They are in the driver seat of their lives."
Tell that to the Magic 8 Ball.
© copyright 2003 The New York Post